Reimagining Adoption

Nov 27 - All my happiness sings to me in whistles, as I did to my little angel...

Category: Submission by a parent, Bangalore

We chose to complete our family by opting for an infant girl from a different state. Even 10 years ago, the legal process was well set out and the expectations were clearly explained by CARA to us. Our extended family was aware of our intentions and supported it, and we all took abundant time to let everyone (specially the near ones) be comfortable with the idea and be convinced that we had considered most of the aspects around our decision.

Finally, we got invited to meet an infant girl at a caring home located in a different state. On the planned date, we were taken to the visitors’ lounge, and the baby was brought in. We met, fell in love with her, played for a while and tried to feel what our life could be together. We were convinced that we wanted a generally healthy child and opted for a medical examination before deciding. We took the baby to a medical centre and arranged for the tests. After a day the report came as positive and we started to get excited about the prospects.

My wife was full of planning to get back home and get our place in order, make it ready for the new member. Her thought was to come back soon to take the child in our legal custody. I felt that if that baby is ours, we were better off making her a part of our life as it was. More so, I was not too keen for her to be away from us even for a day. I believe that in every couple, there will be moments where one is more ready and convinced about the choice and needs to reassure the other of the move. My wife didn’t take much of convincing, and we spoke to the caring home of our plan to come right then and take the baby with us. We immediately directed our cab to the nearest baby shop, armed with the list given by the caring home and indulged in our first baby shopping!

Once with our little one, we got her dressed in the newly procured set of clothes, completed the formalities, left a bag full of goodies for our daughter’s old friends and started back with new dreams! I am not sure if our angel (barely 8 months old then) understood what just happened, but she played along. Sitting in my lap, she felt comfortable and relaxed. As she rested her head on my chest, I started to whistle softly…

She fell asleep on the way in my lap. Back at the hotel, we put her to sleep gently on the bed and got our first experience of a new life (literally) breathing between us. Somewhere in the middle of the night, as instructed by the caring home staff, we woke her to give her some milk which she refused. When we tried our best to get her to suckle on the bottle all we managed was to get her irritated and she started bawling! There seemed no way to console her. We possibly tried all our antics of rocking, singing, jumping, dancing, coaxing and cajoling her, but there seemed no respite. Finally, I just lay her on my chest, whistling the same tune and lo!! she was all quiet and relaxed again… soon enough we both fell asleep. This was my first feel of a mutual bond, possibly the start of a very special understanding of our natural basis to share love for fellow life. Till date, whistling remains a primary medium of connect between me and my, now, 10-year-old. She practiced hard to whistle for a while to connect back, then she took up the piano, which I feel is a far more melodious and we now have far complete form of communication. However, a new messages of love sings to me in the same tune, when I look back to that special night with our miracle…

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